Mindfulness, every curb is a balance beam, and other such ramblings

Looking back at my summer blog, I have to laugh... I had no idea how busy fall was going to be! Summer was great... busier than expected, but lots of fun, travel, and great memories with friends and family. As the fall flies by and the holiday season approaches, I've been working extra hard on living mindfully, and really absorbing each and every moment.

Margo and I arrived at Madeline's school today to pick Maddie up, and into my head popped blogging. Margo climbed onto each curb, balancing herself expertly, insisting on walking the entire length as a gymnast, stopping occasionally to reach down and grab, "A rock, a rock!" I reminded myself to let her experience the moment, and not rush her through it. Her job, right now, is to be an explorer. It was the type of experience during which my husband would comment on my plethora of patience... similar to yesterday, when Madeline and I were working on her schoolwork, and she was repeatedly writing a letter incorrectly, just to make me laugh. "I don't know how you do it..." my husband is always saying. "Do what?" I respond. I'm just raising my family!

On one hand, life often resembles GroundHog Day. Wake up, eat, get everyone ready for the day, bring Madeline the bus, spend the morning with Margo, get Madeline off the bus, put Margo down for her nap, feed Madeline lunch, do schoolwork, bring the girls outside to play/run errands, make dinner, get the girls ready for bed, clean up, go to bed. Whew. Is that the American dream?? But when I look closely, I see so many precious moments. The girls are growing so fast, and their sister bond is awesome. Frequently, I happen upon them playing together, with Madeline teaching Margo something, while Margo imitates. The other day, I found them sitting at the playroom table, "having a meeting." Each time I see them go down the slide holding hands, hugging before bed, and sharing a snack, I feel my heart warm inside. Which is not to say we don't have the moments during which one girl pulls a toy from the other one's hand, and I hear a shrieking, "Mommy!!!!!"

Lots of things make me wistful these days. I feel like although we rush through our weeks, there are many moments I'd like to slow down, or preserve. For one thing, I'm stunned at the rate at which Madeline has matured since beginning school. Already she seems more wise, more worldly, as she navigates kindergarten, riding the bus, homework, and being out in the world sans parents. Hearing about her day is comical. She shares her memories in bits and pieces, telling me stories that explain only half of what I want to know, and stating, "I forget" for everything else.

Margo, meanwhile, had adjusted to mornings with Mommy. Frequently, she'll ask, "Madeline?" I'll remind her that Madeline is at school. "Daddy?" she'll ask. He's at work, I respond. She looks at me, thinking. "Oh," she answers, nodding seriously. She's a full-on toddler by now... running through the house, her little hands clutching a doll, book, wooden spoon, or whatever random item of her sister's isn't being used presently. She definitely hit a language explosion at some point... she loves to tell me to "Lay down, Mommy," "Here, Mommmy," or that she wants to play with, "Madeline's toothbrush." This morning she handed me a pair of shoes, and I said, "Those are Daddy's, actually." She spent the next few minutes practicing, "Daddy's, actually. Mommy's, actually. Madeline's, actually." She repeats everything. She's also obsessed with turning things on and off... every light switch, doll that talks, and toy with batteries in our house is getting a run for its money right now.

I find myself loving so many aspects of toddlerhood... her wispy curls, the tiny tush running free through the house, the silly games she plays, and her love of "the milkies." She's out of diapers during the day, needing them only at night, and I know she'll soon look more like a little girl than anything else. It's all going so fast. She's my last, and while I definitely don't want another, there is so much that I will miss about young children. Madeline is changing so quickly that I sometimes find myself studying her, figuring out who she is in this moment. I constantly revel in my girls, and feel so fortunate for my family. I feel corny, but I'm always telling Terry how lucky we are. Every day presents challenges, for sure, but there's nowhere else I'd be.